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Oi mate, gather round! Sexual-massage, eh? A ruddy fine art, that! We shall fight—on the tables, in the oils, we shall never surrender to a dull rubdown! Picture this—me, sprawled out, some lass or lad kneadin’ me like dough, and I’m thinkin’, “This is livin’, by Jove!” Reminds me of *Boyhood*—y’know, Linklater’s gem—where life just rolls on, messy, raw, real. “I just thought there’d be more,” Mason says, and ain’t that the truth with a half-arsed massage? You want the good stuff, the deep stuff—sexual-massage ain’t just a tickle!

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Then, I decide to check out the local market. You know, the one by the old church? It’s got fresh veggies and all that good stuff. I’m there, trying to haggle with this old lady over some tomatoes. She’s like, “Five euros!” and I’m like, “Nah, lady, how about three?” We go back and forth, and I’m sweating bullets. Finally, I get ‘em for four. Victory!

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